This is a big world we live in, full of mysteries. Here are some of the things I wonder about…
Can someone puh-LEEZ explain Pintrest to me? I just don’t get it. I have tried, I have googled it to see if I can find something to tell me how to use it but other than knowing it’s a site to get awesome ideas I am clueless. I have yet to find an awesome idea there and I am forced to put all my energy in coming up with my own. I feel it’s a cosmic joke, like everyone else in the whole world got together and said, “Let’s make this phony site and tell Geanna about it, it’ll drive her crazy, Mwaaah, ha, ha, ha, haaaah” (that’s supposed to be evil laughter.)
I do not understand why I can pass gas quietly at home, but in a public place it will echo throughout the building like the roar of a mighty lioness. Now I was pretty pregnant at the time but I went to The Flower and Craft Warehouse with a friend one afternoon. We were looking at scrapbooking stuff for a project she was doing. She was a couple of aisles over but the shelving units were short enough that I could see her and we were chatting about something crafty when it happened. BRRRRRRPPPP. The next thing I remember is seeing her head drop below eye level as she doubled over laughing. I, myself, started laughing so hard I thought the baby was coming right then but instead I just peed a little. I would say it was a good thing no one else was nearby but The Flower and Craft Warehouse is actually in a warehouse so the combination of a cavernous space and warehouse reverberation let everyone know what happened. My guess is they knew that one of the two laughing fools did it and that it was probably the pregnant one. Rooty, tooty, fresh and fruity!
I don’t understand how the hair on my head keeps growing but the hair everywhere else only grows so long and then stops growing. How does it know when it’s long enough? How does it even know to grow at all? I wish the hair on my legs would stop growing. The last time I shaved I needed a machete.
Here’s a weird one. I will wake up in the morning and be fine until the second my feet hit the floor. Then like the mighty waters of Niagra rushing down the falls, I have to pee. I thought it was a recent development after having children but it goes back as far as I can remember.
I don’t know why people have a Facebook account and all they do is complain. No one cares if you had to work… again. So does everyone else. If your job is so bad, go look for a new one. And I don’t feel bad for your bad day if it’s the third straight month of bad days. It’s one thing if you have poor health that you can’t do anything about or a sick family member or some other issue beyond your control but if all you do is complain about how fat you are, go get off your fat butt and do something about it. And I speak from experience on this. I consider myself, ummm, a curvy girl. Yeah, that will work. And one day I got tired of having more curves and hills than the streets of San Francisco. So I dropped 30 pounds. I still have a long way to go, but I’m not complaining about it, I’m doing something to change. I guess I just don’t understand whiners. Don’t get me wrong, I do occasionally put a post about how my life stinks at the moment but it’s the exception and not the rule.
I could go on and on and on, my friends. Maybe I’m just a simple minded person. Maybe I’m not supposed to understand these things and they will forever be great mysteries of life. I don’t know. There are sure to be other things that pop up along the way and I will share them. Perhaps someone out there can help me out. But until then, this is…